The Power of Bertolli Compels You!

Ask any parent of teenaged girls and they'll tell you, they can be terrors. But for two parents in Edgewater, Florida, their daughter became a horror movie! Back in June the police got a 911 call from the home of Debra and Daniel Rogers. It was from the couple's daughter, Christina. Apparently the other daughter, Danielle, had gone berserk after the couple's attempt at an exorcism using olive oil had gone awry (story here). Alton Brown was not available to explain the spiritual efficacy of such an application.

But this dear friends is not the punchline. The kicker is the mother, Debra, is a CITY COUNCILWOMAN! Funny isn't it. When people want to avoid responsibility for their own actions they say, "the devil made me do it." But here when Danielle's parent's didn't want to deal with HER actions they said, "the devil is possessing you!" What more could you hope for, a government official given to magical thinking, who doesn't believe in personal responsibility. That's a two-fer.

Of course, we do from time to time put on the human meat suits, but it requires alot of paperwork and I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome! Anyway we tend to shy away from the splashy stuff. It brings us far too much attention. You see, when people acknowledge there are demons, they start thinking that God must also be real, and all that thinking can eventually lead them to find HIM. It happened when "The Exorcist" was in the movie theaters back in the seventies. Church pews were filled with people scared to the other side. Don't think this was just another light comedy, this was propaganda film!

We actually prefer a subtler approach, letting a subject's natural inclinations lead them in our direction. We can't tamper with free will so what we do is make sure the subject is NEVER fully aware of ALL of the choices before them. And believe you me, people don't need much help in choosing to do things our way. The method may not be as flamboyant as forcing a subject to projectile vomit pea soup, but we still get them in the end. Sometimes it's even cleaner.

Brackish