Halo I Must Be Going

"Yutes" as Fred Gwynne called them in "My Cousin Vinny". Yutes are hard to reach. They can tell when you're talking down to them and when your motives aren't quite sincere. That plus the difficulty of nailing down the elusive quality that is "cool" make it hard to capture a young person's attention. This has led many a church to improvise creative BFG's for their evangelical arsenals. One such tool is the use of the video game "Halo". The game which is as much of a social outlet for youths as well as an excuse to "blow things up", has proven to be a great out-reach activity despite controversy over it's violent themes (see story).

Not that I don't think video game violence isn't a useful tool in corrupting children, but the theme of war is a sticky business. There is a time and a place for war, as the Enemy says in Ecclesiastes. Also since the bad guys in "Halo" are aliens, and you are nobly defending planet earth, it's hardly useful for turning a kid into a psychotic killer. Many a human adult has played "war" as a child, and only a small percentage actually became violent when they matured. Sadly exposure to violent themes doesn't automatically make one violent. If reading about how a guy killed three hundred people with the jaw bone of an ass doesn't warp children, I don't know what fragging aliens is going to do.

I do wonder how it will affect the Enemy's message, though. Will they say that "He Who Sits on the Right" is their Master Chief and he fragged the power of death and pwned the Devil? I suppose if they use "World of Warcraft" they could have had Leroy Jenkins as a guest speaker.

Personally, I wish they used "Grand Theft Auto" instead. At least in that game you learn such useful skills as how to pick up prostitutes and beat them to death with baseball bats. I got a merit badge for that one in Imp Scouts. Or maybe they can have a "Hitman" night and they can learn how to kill people for money. Mix it with career counseling, and you have a winner.

Isolation my friends, that is what will twist a child into a useful tool. Hours and hours of playing the right games alone without the involvement of parents or close social ties, those are the shaping forces we need. That is why we should NEVER condone the use of a Wii. There is too much emphasis on playing with a group, and do I have to mention the physical activity?

So in summary, there are violent games that are beneficial to us and there are violent games which are not beneficial to us. It depends on the underlying themes being taught. But at all costs social interaction should be avoided. This is especially true if the Enemy's propaganda is to be spread. Harumph, relating to children through what interests them. What's next, getting involved in their lives? *Shudder*

Kicking tail in Katamari Damacy,

Brackish

The Power of Bertolli Compels You!

Ask any parent of teenaged girls and they'll tell you, they can be terrors. But for two parents in Edgewater, Florida, their daughter became a horror movie! Back in June the police got a 911 call from the home of Debra and Daniel Rogers. It was from the couple's daughter, Christina. Apparently the other daughter, Danielle, had gone berserk after the couple's attempt at an exorcism using olive oil had gone awry (story here). Alton Brown was not available to explain the spiritual efficacy of such an application.

But this dear friends is not the punchline. The kicker is the mother, Debra, is a CITY COUNCILWOMAN! Funny isn't it. When people want to avoid responsibility for their own actions they say, "the devil made me do it." But here when Danielle's parent's didn't want to deal with HER actions they said, "the devil is possessing you!" What more could you hope for, a government official given to magical thinking, who doesn't believe in personal responsibility. That's a two-fer.

Of course, we do from time to time put on the human meat suits, but it requires alot of paperwork and I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome! Anyway we tend to shy away from the splashy stuff. It brings us far too much attention. You see, when people acknowledge there are demons, they start thinking that God must also be real, and all that thinking can eventually lead them to find HIM. It happened when "The Exorcist" was in the movie theaters back in the seventies. Church pews were filled with people scared to the other side. Don't think this was just another light comedy, this was propaganda film!

We actually prefer a subtler approach, letting a subject's natural inclinations lead them in our direction. We can't tamper with free will so what we do is make sure the subject is NEVER fully aware of ALL of the choices before them. And believe you me, people don't need much help in choosing to do things our way. The method may not be as flamboyant as forcing a subject to projectile vomit pea soup, but we still get them in the end. Sometimes it's even cleaner.

Brackish

If your iPod causes you to sin, pluck it out...

Apparently for one church in California, the promise of treasures in heaven isn't good enough to get people to fill their pews. They feel they must resort to giving out gift cards as well. The Palm Beach Post.com reports in this story that for the next three Sundays, the Church by the Glades in Coral Springs will be handing out $15 iTunes gift cards along with a chance to win an iPhone.

Funny I thought promising people material gain was our schtick. What a nice way to ease people towards idolatry. We're excited to see what's next, maybe the chance to win a car if they get baptized! Heck, I'd go to church if I could win an iPhone! The iTunes card wouldn't help me much though, I own a Zune.

"You must be in it to win it,"

Brackish