"M" is for the Melee She Encouraged...

It's usually gut wrenching to me when parents get involved with their children's interests. But this mom in Victorville, CA wisely ditched the Dr. Spock, and took a page from Ma Barker (story here).

Apparently Sophia Elam was driving her son along with several adults to deal with a gang of boys who were bothering her son at school. Things really got out of hand though, when it was discovered that Sophia didn't bake enough rice krispy treats for everyone. At least they had on clean underwear.

Brackish

He Could Have Started a Football Team...

It is said that behind every great man there is a woman. Well, in case of one corrupt Chinese official, behind him are ELEVEN very cheesed-off ones (story here). Sigh, a life-time of graft and corruption, ended by one mistress too many. Well, ten too many, but you have to admire his drive. Never got into collecting myself. It usually requires alot of dusting. Yuck.

Graft and mistresses seem to go hand in hand in Communist China. One former Party chief, in fact, was recently executed for blowing up his mistress because of her money grubbing behavior. Apparently he didn't have teenagers.

The corruption in government runs so deeply, that top officials are afraid that it could lead to and end to the Party's rule. Well every good party must come to an end sooner or later. But then there's always the next one.

I'll bring the dip.

Brackish

The Power of Bertolli Compels You!

Ask any parent of teenaged girls and they'll tell you, they can be terrors. But for two parents in Edgewater, Florida, their daughter became a horror movie! Back in June the police got a 911 call from the home of Debra and Daniel Rogers. It was from the couple's daughter, Christina. Apparently the other daughter, Danielle, had gone berserk after the couple's attempt at an exorcism using olive oil had gone awry (story here). Alton Brown was not available to explain the spiritual efficacy of such an application.

But this dear friends is not the punchline. The kicker is the mother, Debra, is a CITY COUNCILWOMAN! Funny isn't it. When people want to avoid responsibility for their own actions they say, "the devil made me do it." But here when Danielle's parent's didn't want to deal with HER actions they said, "the devil is possessing you!" What more could you hope for, a government official given to magical thinking, who doesn't believe in personal responsibility. That's a two-fer.

Of course, we do from time to time put on the human meat suits, but it requires alot of paperwork and I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome! Anyway we tend to shy away from the splashy stuff. It brings us far too much attention. You see, when people acknowledge there are demons, they start thinking that God must also be real, and all that thinking can eventually lead them to find HIM. It happened when "The Exorcist" was in the movie theaters back in the seventies. Church pews were filled with people scared to the other side. Don't think this was just another light comedy, this was propaganda film!

We actually prefer a subtler approach, letting a subject's natural inclinations lead them in our direction. We can't tamper with free will so what we do is make sure the subject is NEVER fully aware of ALL of the choices before them. And believe you me, people don't need much help in choosing to do things our way. The method may not be as flamboyant as forcing a subject to projectile vomit pea soup, but we still get them in the end. Sometimes it's even cleaner.

Brackish

What Do They Do for Lost Luggage?

I miss animal sacrifices, the pagentry, the color. It wasn't that long ago the Jews did it all the time. That was until Someone made such measures obsolete by sacrficing Himself. Without the work He did believers might STILL be sacrficing animals this very day. Imagine them rushing off to church, trying to fit the kids in the car along with two goats, a steer, and a cage of doves.

It could be argued that His efforts not only began a new age of closeness to God, but also enabled Western Civilization to progress to the modern life all men enjoy. That is why it is refreshing to see a culture that still embraces the finer things of it's past. Case in point in Kathmandu, Nepal when officials were faced with a recalcitrant airplane in their state run airline, they performed an animal sacrifice to appease their sky god (story here). I am hoping that a mechanic was employed at some point, or else I will do my best to avoid flying the Hindi skies. I hope they repair all of their hardware this way. I can't help but imagine a Hindi Maytag repairman with his office crowed with livestock, or a Microsoft help-line rep. saying, "Please hold while I stab a buffalo...now reboot".

I wish that worked. Around here the only thing "Our Father Below" gives us when we kill something is a coupon to Quiznos, and we have to bring our own meat. Well, excuse me, I have to get ready for lunch. Now where did I put that orangutan?

Brackish

Torah and Order

"In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories."

dun dun


It always makes for great drama when a person who is wrongly accused of a crime, finally has their name cleared by the legal system that condemned them. However when the criminal in question is the Son of God, the story becomes somewhat anti-climatic. A Kenyan religious group called the "Friends of Jesus" is attempting to set the legal history straight concerning "He Who Sits on the Right", claiming that he was railroaded by Pontias Pilate and the Roman legal system (story here). Pardon me for being inarticulate but...DUH! I'm about as sick of this as I was the O.J. trial. Of course He was railroaded, there was no record of Him committing blasphemy or doing anything wrong. Anyway how can you commit blasphemy if you ARE God? Our one victory and they want to take it away from us. After His execution, he conquered death and atoned for the sins of all mankind. That kinda stole the sweetness from us.

What they hope to accomplish, I'm not sure. I don't think He was having trouble getting jobs or buying a new house. Maybe they want to horn in on the book deal.

Brackish

That's a Dollar Per Flea...

My uncle once said, "This life promises much, but keeps it all". That's very true, once you cross over you either inherit your riches in heaven or your poverty in hell. And you don't know just how threadbare things are unless you've worked here in A.D. I've got to bring in my own paper clips EVERY DAY!

The best you can hope to do is make sure others benefit from the legacy you leave behind...or you can use it to make one last dig. The famous Leona Helmsley did just that (story here). She died and left twelve million dollars to, wait for it...her DOG! This "neuvo-bitch" is in care of her brother who only was left ten million. Two grandchildren were cut out completely "for reasons which are known to them".

Bang up job Leona! I will have to take her out to lunch to congratulate her on such an inspired finishing stroke to her life. However, she'll be paying.

Brackish

But Where Did They Find Sand in Maine?

Just wanted to offer kudos to two young men doing their part for the cause. They say a man's home is his castle. Well, the builder of this sand castle in Maine is probably mad enough to want to move in to keep watch (see story). The sculpture in question was built to raise money for a charity dealing with terminally ill children. Our two bright stars were video taped after midnight, kicking down parts of the castle. I can't wait to see more of their work. Maybe next time they'll skip the middle man and kick the children directly.

Brackish