Plank's for the Mammories

One would expect a scientific institute to know how to do research. However, it would seem Germany's Max Planck Institute, under the influence of tight deadlines or too many lonely nights, forgot to Google.

In the current issue of their scientific journal focusing on China the editors wanted to find a simple yet elegant Chinese poem to adorn their cover, honoring the asian nation. What they got was an advert for "Hot Housewives in action!" (story here).

We all know the old trick of influencing our young subjects to get drunk and pay for an asian tattoo which ends up meaning something quite different than what they intended. It's an old Tempter School prank which results in many a hairless ape promenading around with the Chinese or Japanese words for "Prostitute", "Kung Pow Chicken", or "This is one ugly foreigner" emblazoned on their fragile bodies. But to get a scientific institute to make such an international faux pas, is quite an achievement!

Or perhaps it was an effort to stimulate the global economy by getting droves of quantum physicists to book flights to China. Either way there is one strip club owner in Macau, who will definitely have to learn German.

- Brackish

Very Mad Ave

A church in West Virginia has come up with an unconventional way of attracting new parishioners. They are advertising in the name of "Our Father Down Below". Their billboard, seen in this article, reads: "I hate the New Life Center in Cedar Grove! - Satan", and they provide a website address. Well, well, well, so posing as a devil to do an angel's work. Where have I heard that one before?

The funny thing is, that while the message may or may not be true (I never investigated to see how alive this church is) people are actually offended by it! Partially I think it is because we are so effective in doing our jobs. There is a line in the movie "The Usual Suspects" which goes, "The greatest trick the Devil ever played, was to convince the world that he doesn't exist." People tend to think God is a bromide, an opiate, and Satan is a scare tactic. Our progress report concerning this was a hot topic at our last office party, I assure you.

So then begs the question...why are we doing a blog when we want our movements to be concealed? Why does ABC report about security weaknesses and troop movements when the enemy surely owns at least one television? Mostly it is to encourage those who do good (bad) work and to inform others in the field. And we are so confident that our propaganda machine has done it's job, that no human will pay attention. After all we recently recruited Goebbels to our slogan writing team, and we have an offer out to Ron Popeil. I mean most people reading this will just think this is another human blogger clogging up the pipes and tubes of the blogosphere.

*wink*
Brackish

Promising Youth

We'd like to salute a promising young lad from Hastings, MI who has great future ahead of him. He stole a neighbor's car and and went on a rampage. Not bad for only being eight years old. We wish him a speedy recovery and encourage his parents to continue to ignore any parenting advice they might be given after this incident. Hopefully with direction (or lack there of) he can graduate beyond driving at a "mediocre" speed, and move on to driving like a bat out of...well, you know.

Brackish