Push Button Larceny

We live in an age where technology contributes to make even the most mundane tasks of life effortless to accomplish. People can change channels on the television without lifting their expanding bums off the sofa or they can shop online without ever stepping into a store. Crime too has been affected by this extreme focus on convenience. A woman in South Carolina attempted to rob a bank WITHOUT LEAVING THE CAR (story here)! Barbara Joyner of Callahan, Fla drove up to the South Carolina Bank & Trust drive through and slipped a note into the tube demanding money from the teller. Unmoved, the teller notified police while Barbara waited for her withdrawal. Sadly Ms. Joyner's choice of banks was also convenient...for the police. She was only up the block from the police station, so when they were notified they only had to chase her through the parking lots of two stores before apprehending her.

This is the backlash of our propaganda, I'm afraid. In our push to emphasize the "quick fix" over hard work to provide one's needs, even the quality of sin suffers. True we benefit regardless of HOW the deed is done, but where is the pride in a job well done? It's a great way to bump up one's quota for the week to be sure but these "wins" look rather paltry on the resumé. So I propose we back off on sloth and impatience and emphasize pride in the New Year. In this way we can obtain both quality and quantity in our "collars". With any luck our subjects will be clever enough to become repeat business for us by not getting caught. I'm feeling that '08 will be the year of the crime spree, I mean apart from Microsoft.

Brackish