GADS! Am I BORED! You'd think running Hell's online division would be a glamorous position, full of high-tech sinful fun. It isn't. Actually I have to put tech in quotation marks as due to a lack of funds we just have one computer lab filled with old gumdrop imacs. Not even pentiums, sheesh! Never the less, the tech really is just another tool to do the same old work. Rumors, conspiracy theories, and good old slander haven't changed much, we just have a new medium to spread them more quickly. There is always online erotica, but even that after awhile just reduces to naked person doing blank to blank. Ho hum. No there is nothing new under the Sun Microsystems where truth and lies can be spread at the speed of fiber optic cable.
I used to be excited about my work. Time was I'd come in on a Monday and have at least six internet rumors flying and one or two celebrity videos circulating. My heyday was 9/11 there was so much fear and uncertainty around that time, that people tended to believe in anything as long as it fit their world view. The rumor that Osama bin Laden owned Citibank, that was mine. So was story about seven women dying from sniffing perfume samples that came to them in the mail. What I would do was take real life and twist it, so that paranoia and fear would spread like an unholy fire. I loved creative writing.
All was well, and I was up for a promotion to tempter first-class, until THEY came onto the scene. By "they" I mean Barbara and David P. Mikkelson who run a website called "snopes.com". Snopes.com is an urban legend reference page. The Mikkelson's track down and either verify or debunk any odd tale they find in the wilds of the internet. I had met my match. My Katrina rumors were blown apart, my medical rumors flatlined, and my prized Nigerian scam ended up being deported. We keep researching and developing new fears and half-truths to unleash into he pipes and tubes of Web 2.0, but the endeavor has lost it's "je ne sais quoi". Curse you Mikkelsons! Their site is almost as bad as having people think for themselves!
So here I am running a blog, praising the work of other more industrious demons. Despite the setback I do feel the 'Net to be a source of promise. There are pirates and online predators to encourage. Who am I kidding? That's just theft and abuse dressed up in new lingo. Oh well, I guess I can just spend my time trying to beat my high score in Kitten Cannon.
But then there is always Web 3.0...
Brackish
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4 comments:
You disappoint me Brackish. I thought next you were going to claim the invention of the MailStation device that allowed so many people (usually seniors) to access email without the capability of browsing the internet.
After telling one of my frequent correspondents about Snopes a gazillion times, I finally realized she can't confirm the veracity of the rumors and false reports that she loves to forward to "help" her Christian brothers and sisters. How convenient for your lot! So, my gentle nudge to check her facts couldn't possibly work.
So now if I feel really strongly about her propensity to spread gossip I have to confront her the old-fashioned Biblical way.
Well, maybe we don't make ALL of the sinful stuff you find online. We only work 9 to 5 don't you know. But my propensity to exaggerate the truth a bit has always been in my nature. I'm a DEMON. Look it up.
And of course we really can't create anything, just influence others to.
as one of my favorite humans once said "what is truth?"
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