Wouldn't He Be More Interested in Kitty Porn?

We've all heard the old saw "the Devil made me do it". Well, how about, "Fluffy made me do it"? Recently a Florida man blamed the presence of thousands of child porn materials found on his computer, ON HIS CAT! (story here). Mr. Griffin's cat apparently refused to comment.

Now I've always found the shifting of blame on His Infernal Majesty rather innaccurate and insulting. For one, the Master Below, is too busy to handle EVERYONE on earth. Unlike the Enemy, the Master isn't omnipresent. He has to commute and his travel expenses are rather impressive. Secondly, what is the fun in MAKING a human DO anything? That would negate free will and therefore sin. Remember our ultimate goal is the damnation of all hairless monkeys. If we possesses them to do evil, it isn't THEM doing the evil and then they are not responsible. It is FAR better for our purposes to use each human's natural inclinations against them. They do most of the work, we just have to make sure that the human is aware of the "alternate choice". "Alternate" meaning the one we would prefer. Also on an unrelated note, possession is rather "showy", we do our best work in the dark.

But to blame one's own proclivities on the CAT. Well, that's priceless! My own pet death worm, Toby, is nowhere near as technically savvy as that feline must be. Sadly even if the cat was responsible it would be a meaningless victory for us as we know that cats don't have souls. :)

Remember dogs and cats are animals,
death worms are people!

- Brackish

Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to Alley Oop what is Alley Oop's

Do you know what killed the dinosaurs? Apparently it was TAX EVASION! File this under, "It's not what you teach but how you live". Kent Hovind, who started a creationist theme park in Pensacola, FL is now serving ten years in federal prison for failing to pay his taxes (story here).

He tussled with scientists as well as the IRS saying he and his employees were "employed by God" and therefore not subject to payroll taxes. That would have been news to Jesus who paid the temple tax as illustrated in the scriptures. But then the Kid never consulted H and R Block.

Hovind's "Jurasic Park" will be seized by the government, but there will be no federal agent with a flaming sword stationed outside. Those who believe the world is under 6,000 can continue to be misinformed via the tubes of the internet (drdino.com).

- Brackish

Absolut Nonsense

It is known by many names: booze, hootch, grog, spirits and my favorite demon rum. This normal product of decaying natural sugars has both enhanced and plagued the house of man for centuries. The Kid Himself used it as a powerful symbol of the blood He shed for sins while knowing the sins that over-imbibing can cause. The apostle Paul once gave medical advice to his friend Timothy, saying that he should avoid a sour stomach by taking a little wine with his water. And knowing that Evian was centuries away yet, who could blame him?

Americans tried to ban it in the 1920's creating a bigger problem than before, by giving organized crime a sure-sale product to fund their organization. Well, the next battleground for good ol' C₂H₅OH isn't about what passes over man's lips, but what he slathers on his hands. (story here)

Some Muslim healthcare workers in Britain are refusing to use alcohol based hand gels to fight the spread of swine flu, on the basis that it is against their faith to even touch the "hard" stuff. And getting seriously ill from an "unclean" pig disease is a better alternative? Silly humans, it's not like the workers are throwing "keggers" with the stuff.

Muslim leaders actually criticize the legalistic move, but encourage people to "accommodate their beliefs". Pity. As long as they don't realize it isn't what you put in the body, it's what comes out of one's heart that counts. Keeping believers dancing to this tune is how we can make bombing innocent people acceptable, while ditching the Purel.

Giving a VERY warm toast,

- Brackish

"Let's Make a Convert!" with Wink Martindale

In the Enemy's Big Storybook, He compares the "Kingdom of God" as a pearl of great price buried in field. Once found a man sold all he had to purchase the field. Put that man on camera and have him compete with nine other men and you have a game show soon to air in Turkey (story here).

TV station "Kanal T" is planning a show in which four religious guides attempt to covert a group of ten athiests. The "winner" will receive eternal salvation/enlightenment and a trip to the holy site of the respective faith they accept. No word if Richard Dawkins will be competing.

This version of "Spiritual Jeopardy" is to include guides from Christian, Jewish, Buddhist and Islamic faiths. It is not without it's controversy, however. Although Turkey is largely secular the Religious Affairs Directorate feels the show is disrespectful to all religions and is refusing to provide an imam for the show. They fear that the show trivializes spiritual beliefs and cheapens religion. Funny, I thought that was what "The 700 Club" did.

...and now a vision from our sponsors...

- Brackish

Neo-Nazis Keeping the Highway Kosher for You

Unable to make any serious in-roads to political power, a Missouri-based Neo-Nazi group actually adopted one last year. The state wasn't able to block the civic minded racists from joining the Adopt-a-Highway program, and so the purge began...on litter. The Springfield chapter of the National Socialist Movement happily applied their White Power to the Black top but the state had the last laugh. This year Missouri added an amendment to a state transportation bill which will rename the bigoted byway the "Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel highway"! (story here)

Rabbi Heschel narrowly escaped the Nazi's former attempts of "cleanup" in WWII, and later marched with Martin Luther King Jr. Heschel's daughter is none too thrilled and neither are the Nazis who call this "a lame attempt to insult National Socialist pro-environment/green policies."
Insert "color" related joke here.

As a demon, I know too well that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. And I applaud the attempts of the Nazis to spew hate while clearing debris but I must confess I love kicking someone in the asphalt when they are down.

I wonder if it's possible to put a mosque off of that highway. Hmmm.

-Brackish

Bluetooth Meets Jew-Tooth

Thousands of years after the Law of Moses was given unto man, man keeps adding onto it.
As if the Ten Pushy Orders and the whole of Leviticus wasn't onerous enough! Sheesh. What is WRONG with "Do what thou wilt"? I ask you? The One Below doesn't ask for much, just live for yourself, that's all. If other people get hurt, they can always take revenge. But I digress...

It would seem the latest wrinkle added by the ultra-orthodox Jews in Israel is that it is all right to turn on your cell phones on the Sabbath day, as long as you use your TEETH (story here)! How delightful another burden lifted by adding a subsequent burden! This was to solve a problem faced by orthodox emergency workers who were forced to use cellphones instead of beepers.

Reminds me of the Pharasees of Jesus' day. Grand ol' party poopers they were. Instead of just teaching the people to follow His law, they added a whole bunch of other stuff on top of it so no on would even come CLOSE to committing a sin! In 3rd century AD these interpretations were written down into the Mishnah, which in English would be a book of about 800 pages. These interpretations were then...interpreted and then more "whisper down the lane" volumes followed. These are the Talmud. Fun reading, those. The Command about not working on the Sabbath day was scrutinized to the point they had to define what "work" meant. They figured that you were allowed to carry a burden as long as it didn't exceed the weight of a dried fig and so on. Petty rules and endless regulations became the focus instead of the actual state of their souls. Thus any joy and meaning was squeezed out of life. I loved those guys.

The Kid saw through this distraction and violated the silliness whenever He could. Preaching Grace and Forgiveness of sins through believing and relying on Him. With Him it wasn't the things you did, but what you believed that united you with the Creator. Sounds like cheating to me.

Anyhoo we still have the orthodox Jews to keep running in their hamster wheels. As the world keeps moving forward, the weight will get heavier and heavier. They even have an organization dedicated to adding MORE legalistic rules when dealing with modern science and technology www.scienceandhalacha.org. I wonder how many chapters are dedicated to the Xbox?

Despite what most American Christians think though, the Jews are still His chosen people. And He alone knows His plans for them. Until then weapons of mass distraction are key, lest they should realize that life is more than rules and the Kid is getting ready for His second world tour.

- Brackish

The Magic of Sigfried and Rael

In the ancient world temples were the Las Vegas of their day. Priests in the Greek and Egyptian religions used a wide range of theatrical tricks and feats of engineering in order to amaze their followers and get those butts in the seats. How fitting is it then that a religious group wants to create their own Las Vegas attraction? (story here)

One of my favorite groups of delusional lumps of clay are the Raelians. They accept the concept of Intelligent Design but they believe the designers to be other mortals on a different planet. No word on who supposedly created the creators.

In order to spread the good word about promiscuous sex and cloned eternal life, they want to create their own "Mecca" to be called "UFOland"! It will have a 1000 seat theater for their leader Rael (former French sports-car journalist and test driver named Claude Vorilhon) to give lectures on how bad science fiction is a valid way of life.

L. Ron Hubbard is kicking himself right now. I mean really. He's with us.

- Brackish