Black and Blue Friday Festivities

After the last morsel of turkey is eaten and the last spot of cranberry sauce is scrubbed off the good linen comes my favorite time of the year...the Xmas Season! What, you say! How dare you be caught up in the Enemy's propaganda and celebrate our eventual defeat by honoring the birth of The Kid! Now don't get your forked tails in a knot. Much "good" has been done for our cause by influencing humans to focus on the traditions of the holiday rather than on the central theme. That distasteful theme, of course, is that the Creator's Kid was born into the world to live, suffer and die as a hairless monkey so that faith in Him will save other hairless monkeys from our fate...eternal separation from God.

Through our careful manipulation we have been able to shift focus from Christ to Claus, from spiritual gifts to electronic ones, and from being saved to saving money. These distraction techniques culminate to our holiest of days, "Black Friday". Not that it's wrong for a human to save money on a thoughtful gift to a loved one. We'd never make any progress that way, but again it is a matter of degrees. Multiply that shopper by thousands, and magnify that thrifty spirit so that it becomes a kissing cousin to blind greed, and you've got yourself one hoppin holiday!

And this year the shopping season began with a BANG in a Wal-Mart in New York! One worker died and four others were taken to hospital as about TWO-THOUSAND people surged through the doors at five in the morning with the spirit of giving in their hearts (story here). Their hearts were so filled with peace and love they didn't hear the screams nor did they lose their focus in hunting down every red-tagged item as they trampled, shoved and abused one another in the name of Big Savings. In fact shoppers were angered when the death made it necessary to close the store thus interrupting their search for this year's "Something, Something Elmo" doll.

Don't you wish that Xmas came more than once a year?

- Brackish