But He WILL Bless Your Evian...

During these troubled times air travel has become a little more restrictive.  We have become so successful with instilling fear about terrorism that airline security has spawned a ever growing list of items that are "verboten" in one's luggage.  Items as innocuous as nail clippers and shampoo bottles have be scrutinized and confiscated all in the name of safety and piece of mind. However, a new item has been added to the list which will cause many a commuting nosferatu to rest in their cargo holds more securely.  The pope has requested that on an upcoming trip to Lourdes, the journalists that will accompany him are not to bring any of the shrine's holy water home with them (story here).

Now this hydrophobia is not sponsored so much in the name of safety, but of convenience. Passengers found with "liquid Lourdes" will be subject to more lengthy delays at the airport's security check points.  The pope apparently is not a patient pontiff.

We for many years have been pondering the question of "holy water", especially since the One Who Sits on the Right seems to prefer wine.  There are many instances of water being used for ceremonial purposes such as in Old Testament washing rituals that priests conducted while in the temple, and then of course baptism.  However in every case it doesn't seem that the water itself has any powers, but that the power rested in the actions performed with the water and in the Enemy Himself.  Even with the miracles involving food the food stuffs themselves weren't imbued with power.  The water changed to wine was just good wine and the bread and fishes, while more plentiful than before, didn't heal the sick or make blind men see.  Only the Enemy has such power.  And He is unfortunately far too eager to share it with those who come to Him, with humility and a repentant heart.

No matter.  For our R and D department has attacked this problem from the opposite end.  If it is possible to make "holy" water, therefore it must be possible to create "cursed" water.  Our research efforts have thus produced "Love Canal" and the Schuyllkill River in Philadelphia. Personally, I prefer to make one's subject forget water all together in favor of the "fire water" men produce.  

Bottom's Up,

Brackish