May You Be in Heaven Three Days Before Your Fellow Traveller Knows You're Dead

It has been said that Dr. Joseph Bell, the inspiration for Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, could diagnose a patient's illness by merely looking at him. I myself have no such keen powers of observation. However I do believe I could tell when a person has been dead for three days.

Not so for Jerry Maestas of New Mexico. Who wisely never got into medicine, but does like to drink and drive. Apparently Jerry and his friend, Amy Marquez, went on a road trip together following an all day bender. After three days, despite the smell and despite the flies, Jerry only first considered consulting a physician when Amy's back began turning blue (story here).

Meh, I've heard the oft used illustration concerning how a person lost in sin is like a frog being cooked to death in a pot water that is slowly being heated. They are both oblivious to their fate. However in this case I think we might as well let the Enemy have this soul, as I don't even think upon dying that he'd realize that he was in Hell.  We'd be dipping his nether regions in hot magma while threading his sinuses with barbed wire and he'd be nonchalantly asking when "Idol" would be on.

Which, incidentally, is MY version of Hell.

Ooh, ooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell?
Ooh, ooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you.

-- Brackish

Get Your Kicks on Route 666

Today I want to celebrate one of the little things, which makes life intolerable. That, of course, is the experience of driving. Many of my readers might be surprised to find that the "children of below" actually know how to drive. Ah, but my friends driving is one of our greatest pleasures. It gives the human race such an emense opportunity for sin. How could we not participate?

Whether they are driving faster than the posted limit, or raging at the person who is driving too slowly, humans are truly at their worst (or best) while driving. We encourage such behavior naturally. We do our humble part of adding to the experience by hanging too long in the fast lane, or hugging one's bumper. My favorite is taking turns nice and slow, so the person who is waiting for me to complete my turn, loses all patience.

This is where I must give kudos as well as instruction. On one such occasion I was making a left hand turn while there was a person on my left also waiting to make a turn. I moved my car (a gremlin, naturally) slowly around her's, taking my time and hoping for a reaction. I got one, although it was barely worth it. I peered through her windshield and got a sight of her gently resting the back of her hand on her steering wheel as she gave me a one finger salute. Now, kudos for her display of rudeness, but what a feeble display. Where was the passion, the rage, or the mindless anger. I swear what is this generation coming to if such a basic gesture as flipping one off can't be done with any gusto?

So I implore those rage and grumble behind their steering wheels as they drive to work or church, keep in practice. The enemy tells us to "practice righteousness" because it truly doesn't come naturally. Well neither does deep depravity. No one starts out incredibly evil, most are mediocre at best. The longer one practices sin, the worse the sin becomes. So keep up the good (bad) work, those who drive. You never know who is on the road preventing you from merging.

See you soon,

Brackish