tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90565408589709024282012-02-16T15:18:51.923-05:00A view of life from a devil's perspective. Praise is given to those individuals, organizations, or governments, who make life "worse" living.Authornoreply@blogger.comBlogger821100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-90314095461165546522011-06-18T19:19:00.000-04:002011-06-18T19:19:36.142-04:00

As a supporter of ignorance and everything dark.  I have to herald a new addition to the Library of Congress.  It is a map that is 120 years old and promotes the theory that the world is FLAT (click here).  If you do the math you will find that this is almost 400 years after that crazy ape named Columbus got lost and discovered that the Earth is round.  That such a "retro" piece of cartography is

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-26874356903297723502011-04-25T19:45:00.000-04:002011-04-25T19:45:45.574-04:00

The State Bank of India has reported the unprecidented theft of over ten million rupees which is roughly equal to about $214,000.  They do have a list of suspects, but they are numerous and devilishly hard to catch. They are termites (story here). Apparently the bank officials originally tried to keep this quiet, but the new manager kept hearing tiny "burps" followed by tiny "excuse me's" and

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-82665902578390041182011-04-17T13:43:00.000-04:002011-04-17T13:43:20.000-04:00

Oh Blood!  Oh Thunder!  It CAN'T be that time of year again!  How could I have forgotten His Infernal Majesty's birthday!  Cake!  I must bake a cake!  Wait, maybe I can get that Buddy guy from Jersey.  Perhaps if I can apply my darkest powers of persuasion,  I can commission him to bake an extreme cake with a Muppet theme.  What?  I don't judge, I just torment. By all the tolling bells in Hell,

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-74203219330065494512011-04-16T19:24:00.000-04:002011-04-16T19:24:10.462-04:00

We love politics.  It is said that the Beast rising up out of the sea is the Antichrist emerging from the world of politics.  I am not allowed to divulge the veracity of this as the many interpretations of the Ememy's final book can make many a well meaning hairless ape present a laughable witness unto the world.  And anyway who doesn't hate SPOILERS? President Obama has had many firsts during

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-20098376697556030482011-04-13T21:28:00.000-04:002011-04-13T21:28:32.083-04:00

Is there a difference between thought and action? Just because a hairless monkey thinks of an action, it doesn't mean that he'll actually commit it. On the other side, the Enemy does stress the importance of the intention of the heart over action. Fine, but how does this apply to one's Prius? Rabbi Dror Fixler, an electro-optics expert from Bar-Ilan University in Ramat Gan, Israel, may have an

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-9130858758015196302011-04-09T20:58:00.007-04:002011-04-09T22:12:51.518-04:00

It has been said that Dr. Joseph Bell, the inspiration for Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, could diagnose a patient's illness by merely looking at him. I myself have no such keen powers of observation. However I do believe I could tell when a person has been dead for three days. Not so for Jerry Maestas of New Mexico. Who wisely never got into medicine, but does like to drink and drive.

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-69012987720279126422011-04-09T20:43:00.003-04:002011-04-09T20:53:29.262-04:00

A drunk Eric Estrada was arrested by the California Highway Patrol on Thursday. And while the irony is delicious I'm afraid that I must disappoint and confess that the Eric in question was not the famous actor who played Frank Poncherello on TV. Sadly the drunk driver was just another hairless monkey who shares the same name and has nothing else in common with the other Estrada (story here).

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-24378595895938023262011-04-09T17:18:00.004-04:002011-04-09T17:38:38.729-04:00

In this new "green" age conservation is all important. In the interest of saving water many a human might be tempted to allow the "yellow to mellow", as it were. Well, for a pair of Swedish bank robbers, the practice of leaving their No. 1 behind, has landed them in deep No. 2 (story here)!The two thieves attempted to rob a bank in Copenhagen, Denmark by hiding in it's vault overnight. In

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-7459658916010461682010-01-04T14:51:00.005-05:002010-01-04T15:25:02.128-05:00

The Enemy is cunning indeed. While we have been doing our work to corrupt neutral technologies to spread our sundry temptations (e.g. T.V., the Internet, Xbox) THEY have been working on weapons of Mass Salvation. Apparently there are competing rapid-fire, germ-free communion wafer dispensers in development. So heated is this burgeoning field in the wake of Swine Flu and other pandemic

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-80344574658474628292009-11-19T10:00:00.006-05:002009-11-19T10:20:58.924-05:00

It has been said that you are only as old as you feel. I myself on most mornings feel like a sprightly 500 year old. That is, of course, except for Mondays when I feel positively eldritch!Admiration abounds for an senior sinner who hasn't let the snow on his pate lessen his ambitions. The FBI is currently hunting a bank robber who is seventy years old and uses an oxygen tank. Dubbed the "

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-83618659082045457022009-10-19T21:19:00.000-04:002009-10-19T21:20:39.750-04:00

Ah, it is again that time of year when powerful opponents with many followers attempt to influence the public by telling falsehoods against the other. No I'm not referring to the current political contest in the States, but I'm referring to Halloween.Halloween, which is the Christian name for Samhain an old Celtic holiday, has long since been a boogie-man to many a pulpit percher. This year the

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-66995830635458833462009-08-18T16:30:00.001-04:002009-08-18T16:31:53.045-04:00

Human men wearing women's clothing has both been considered a staple of classic comedy and a spring-board for unnatural depravity. It has never been considered a way to bring one closer to one's creator...until now. An island in Fiji has banned the wearing of pants on Sunday as a way to mark the Sabbath and keep it holy (story here). Instead men are to wear the traditional island sarong called

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-11419550567643207492009-08-10T10:03:00.003-04:002009-08-10T10:21:23.322-04:00

We've all heard the old saw "the Devil made me do it". Well, how about, "Fluffy made me do it"? Recently a Florida man blamed the presence of thousands of child porn materials found on his computer, ON HIS CAT! (story here). Mr. Griffin's cat apparently refused to comment.Now I've always found the shifting of blame on His Infernal Majesty rather innaccurate and insulting. For one, the Master

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-91678220767356376202009-08-04T10:08:00.004-04:002009-08-04T10:25:32.688-04:00

Do you know what killed the dinosaurs? Apparently it was TAX EVASION! File this under, "It's not what you teach but how you live". Kent Hovind, who started a creationist theme park in Pensacola, FL is now serving ten years in federal prison for failing to pay his taxes (story here).He tussled with scientists as well as the IRS saying he and his employees were "employed by God" and therefore

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-63605863995259235762009-07-27T16:34:00.008-04:002009-07-27T17:17:27.376-04:00

It is known by many names: booze, hootch, grog, spirits and my favorite demon rum. This normal product of decaying natural sugars has both enhanced and plagued the house of man for centuries. The Kid Himself used it as a powerful symbol of the blood He shed for sins while knowing the sins that over-imbibing can cause. The apostle Paul once gave medical advice to his friend Timothy, saying that

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-84709521164883838882009-07-04T09:48:00.009-04:002009-07-04T10:24:35.410-04:00

In the Enemy's Big Storybook, He compares the "Kingdom of God" as a pearl of great price buried in field. Once found a man sold all he had to purchase the field. Put that man on camera and have him compete with nine other men and you have a game show soon to air in Turkey (story here).TV station "Kanal T" is planning a show in which four religious guides attempt to covert a group of ten

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-37029820439313458532009-06-22T11:00:00.003-04:002009-06-22T12:00:31.228-04:00

Unable to make any serious in-roads to political power, a Missouri-based Neo-Nazi group actually adopted one last year. The state wasn't able to block the civic minded racists from joining the Adopt-a-Highway program, and so the purge began...on litter. The Springfield chapter of the National Socialist Movement happily applied their White Power to the Black top but the state had the last laugh.

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-43604760286397099742009-06-11T10:44:00.006-04:002009-06-14T18:54:50.896-04:00

Thousands of years after the Law of Moses was given unto man, man keeps adding onto it.As if the Ten Pushy Orders and the whole of Leviticus wasn't onerous enough! Sheesh. What is WRONG with "Do what thou wilt"? I ask you? The One Below doesn't ask for much, just live for yourself, that's all. If other people get hurt, they can always take revenge. But I digress...It would seem the latest

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-86234046220752726932009-06-05T11:09:00.002-04:002009-06-05T11:16:31.820-04:00

In the ancient world temples were the Las Vegas of their day. Priests in the Greek and Egyptian religions used a wide range of theatrical tricks and feats of engineering in order to amaze their followers and get those butts in the seats. How fitting is it then that a religious group wants to create their own Las Vegas attraction? (story here)One of my favorite groups of delusional lumps of clay

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-43414882734918744422009-05-30T10:57:00.003-04:002009-05-30T11:06:44.312-04:00

There actually IS a benefit to telling the truth, at least you don't have to worry about keeping your story straight. And believe it or not a man in Cambria County, PA is being punished for "keeping it real". Gary Vaughn owner of "Gary's Steals and Deals" was arrested for selling stolen merchandise on the internet (story here).Taking a page from the Dupin handbook Gary has been operating his

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-56214794733025972262009-05-28T20:27:00.004-04:002009-05-28T20:58:48.688-04:00

I usually envy those demons who can influence their "wards" to take up an addiction. What a cushy job! Oh, all of the time spent in preparation is GRUELING! Abuse, emotional trauma, and unhealthy decisions take a lot of planning, but once the subject is on that road it's almost like getting tenure. Very little is needed to keep them on the same destructive downward spiral that will eventually

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-42072688228244976102009-05-23T19:57:00.002-04:002009-05-23T20:01:42.991-04:00

Robert Furchgott, a leading US scientist whose work led to the development of Viagra, has died. Robert whose work led to the continued promiscuity of many an older gent passed away Tuesday at his home in Seattle, WA. The family says that instead of lying in state, it might just be better if he remained sitting. (story here)- Brackish

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-3496700076379254392009-05-23T12:03:00.002-04:002009-05-23T12:19:32.445-04:00

Normally we aren't too keen on promoting education. Unschooled people are so much easier to mislead. However I must truly applaud the efforts of two 25-year-old female Italian students from Bologna. Their hearts were burdened by the poor state of education in Africa and were determined to raise the funds to open a school. They pulled the community together in true Frank Capra fashion and

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-58041502927117888042009-05-19T07:47:00.002-04:002009-05-19T08:02:40.533-04:00

I'm introducing a new segment today. It's a little bon mot I like to call the "Daily Defamation". It will be a short pearl of demonly wisdom that I can relate to aid in your work in the field. Most assuredly it WON'T be daily as mentioned in the title, but I am a DEMON I can stretch the truth a hair.Today's advice. KEEP PEOPLE ARGUING. As long as the Enemy's followers are concerned about

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-13848454658408575782009-05-13T19:44:00.016-04:002009-05-14T10:15:53.214-04:00

I've always loved a good ol' fashioned plague! The masses of people quarantined in their homes, the sense of despair, and the solemn cry of "Bring out your dead!" echoing in the still morning air...ahhhhhh! It's always so easy to get a good seat in a restaurant! Good times, good times.Imagine my disappointment when I discovered how milquetoast the current contender, H1N1, turned out to be. Better

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-80452183513027996292009-05-13T14:34:00.003-04:002009-05-13T19:03:50.756-04:00

Bad news for prostitutes who have sore feet. Craigslist has been forced by Illinois Attorney General, Lisa Madigan, to drop erotic ads from it's "Erotic Services" section. They are to create a NEW adult section to be monitored (and monitored, and monitored...) by employees. Craigslist had long been hosting thinly veiled and some not so veiled ads for prostitutes and escort services right next

Authornoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-36222873122512638002008-12-09T11:37:00.002-05:002008-12-09T11:39:07.329-05:00

One would expect a scientific institute to know how to do research. However, it would seem Germany's Max Planck Institute, under the influence of tight deadlines or too many lonely nights, forgot to Google.In the current issue of their scientific journal focusing on China the editors wanted to find a simple yet elegant Chinese poem to adorn their cover, honoring the asian nation. What they got

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-58614252669670234402008-11-29T12:44:00.005-05:002008-11-29T13:27:12.197-05:00

After the last morsel of turkey is eaten and the last spot of cranberry sauce is scrubbed off the good linen comes my favorite time of the year...the Xmas Season! What, you say! How dare you be caught up in the Enemy's propaganda and celebrate our eventual defeat by honoring the birth of The Kid! Now don't get your forked tails in a knot. Much "good" has been done for our cause by influencing

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-2048536428494465162008-11-12T10:23:00.003-05:002008-11-12T10:36:27.692-05:00

We are well aware of the concept of the Rapture. That is when the Enemy will declare "Everybody out of the pool", and assume all of the faithful into that near but far away Kingdom. I wasn't aware that they were going to take any real estate with them.It would appear that the Russian village of Komarovo is MISSING a church. For 200 years the Church of Christ's Resurrection stood a beacon in a

Authornoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-85869126004976001602008-10-22T07:37:00.005-04:002009-10-19T21:18:46.113-04:00

Ah, it is again that time of year when powerful opponents with many followers attempt to influence the public by telling falsehoods against the other. No I'm not referring to the current political contest in the States, but I'm referring to Halloween.Halloween, which is the Christian name for Samhain an old Celtic holiday, has long since been a boogie-man to many a pulpit percher. This year the

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-50309676207735090682008-10-16T10:39:00.002-04:002008-10-16T11:05:24.686-04:00

We all know how hard it is to get a good seat.  You stand in line and wait...and wait....aaaaannnd WAIT!  Then when you get inside the theater the only open seats where you feel comfortable sitting are in the middle of the row and you have to push by a phalanx of concert goers, all with food and no space to avoid stepping on their feet.  You no sooner sit down, when you have an overpowering urge

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-57866658779073238612008-09-26T10:43:00.002-04:002008-09-26T10:50:36.992-04:00

Greetings pets! Today is an unusual day as I did not write the meat of today's report. Apparently one of our agents found a misplaced PDA with a distinctive "double-winged" logo emblazoned on the back. On it we found what seemed to be the rough draft of a dispatch from the enemy camp. We reproduce it here in its entirety to remind our readers that they are constantly preparing their weapons

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-23072980713067636712008-08-29T16:09:00.007-04:002008-08-30T14:23:56.521-04:00

During these troubled times air travel has become a little more restrictive.  We have become so successful with instilling fear about terrorism that airline security has spawned a ever growing list of items that are "verboten" in one's luggage.  Items as innocuous as nail clippers and shampoo bottles have be scrutinized and confiscated all in the name of safety and piece of mind. However, a new

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-82136007097271682132008-08-29T15:05:00.005-04:002008-08-29T15:45:44.335-04:00

We down here have had a long history with Rock and including Roll.  Rebellion with a healthy dose of hedonism are the rip currents that have swept many a soul through our gates, and many before their times.  As a mode of self expression, it isn't much use to us.  When the music is used as a tool by introspective people, the result can actually unite and comfort suffering souls by sharing common

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-8589451970055957152008-04-23T07:48:00.006-04:002008-04-23T22:31:05.837-04:00

Being on two different sides of the great spiritual divide, the Enemy and we have different tactics for getting people to "check out" early. We tend to push people to thinking that life is a burden that they just can't bear any longer. They tend to make people realize that life is a precious gift that should only be layed down if in the process of helping others. But sometimes He intrudes on

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-9571232297526474922008-04-07T16:15:00.003-04:002008-04-07T19:21:16.103-04:00

You're familiar with the ol' saw that video games inspire violence in those who grew up playing them? Funny, I swear that violence and torture existed way before the advent of the joystick. Anyway this next story might go towards proving the theory, that is if the game in question was "Sonic the Hedgehog".In New Zealand 27 year old, William Singalargh, was arrested for assaulting another young

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-69779154742682544082008-04-04T07:32:00.005-04:002008-04-04T07:59:54.577-04:00

Greetings all! Sorry for the hiatus, but do to a major shake up (an actual 7.9 earthquake) in our department we've had to put things on hold to reorganize. During the restructuring, and I do mean restructuring as half of the building sank to a lower level of Hell in the process, I got a promotion! No longer am I just a Tempter Second Class. Now I'm a Tempter Second Class with a "Black Stain".

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-89284784192196021562007-12-11T08:00:00.000-05:002007-12-13T17:20:54.704-05:00

Nothing bothers me more than a brown-noser. Sure we have our share of obsequious maggots here in Hell. Pain tends to make one rather compliant. However on the earthly plane there is a particularly nauseating tradition in the Alpine regions which stokes an inferno in my gullet. I refer to the character of "the Krampus". In many European cultures Santa Claus, St. Nick, or Father Christmas depending

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-66166091127907064852007-12-05T19:55:00.000-05:002007-12-09T21:58:02.998-05:00

We live in an age where technology contributes to make even the most mundane tasks of life effortless to accomplish. People can change channels on the television without lifting their expanding bums off the sofa or they can shop online without ever stepping into a store. Crime too has been affected by this extreme focus on convenience. A woman in South Carolina attempted to rob a bank WITHOUT

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-27433303325770444342007-11-25T15:28:00.000-05:002007-11-26T20:42:43.937-05:00

Once the tryptophan wears off and the weather begins to turn cold, people's thoughts begin to turn to the joyous yuletide season. Actually people's minds begin turning in October, but that's the doing of over zealous retail stores. With the pressures of trying to create the perfect Norman Rockwell holiday memory the simple message of "peace on Earth and good will to men", is lost in a crimson

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-71593580521525418922007-11-16T14:52:00.000-05:002007-11-16T15:34:13.758-05:00

Now no one enjoys doing the laundry. I myself tend to put it off as long as possible, but last week my Mongolian Death Worm had digestive problems so I was liberally dipping into the clorox almost daily. Apparently though the person in my next story couldn't be bothered. He wore the same clothes he wore during a bank robbery for two days even though they were covered with the remains of a DYE

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-35402742249627105292007-11-10T10:44:00.000-05:002007-11-17T12:34:01.741-05:00

Bringing new significance to the term "vicious cycle" a 65 year old Novi, Michigan woman robbed a gas station in order to buy gasoline (story here). Anna May Kwasny never had a criminal history before so she kept things simple. Using a toy gun she robbed one gas station and then drove three miles to another station so she could pay for gas there. She could have stolen both gas and money at her

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-61222222195382711842007-10-29T11:49:00.000-04:002007-10-29T12:24:16.865-04:00

Normally I'm against those stupid rubber wrist band thingys. Despite the wonderfully obnoxious attitude that some of the wearers sport, they still raise awareness for good causes and I can't support that. However, there is a school in Iowa which may finally have the right idea. Recently they ordered a batch of anti-drug wristbands for their students which apparently say "BETTER DO DRUGS" (story

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-36412630079452079762007-10-25T13:17:00.000-04:002007-10-25T14:16:33.528-04:00

"I think that I shall never see, a poem as bloody vicious as a tree", or so Joyce Kilmer would have written if he had lived in Padrame, India. If news reports are to be believed the village is being harassed by ferocious foliage that is not to be satisfied with a little bald kid's kites (story here). Keep in mind this is the same news media that reported the "monkey man" attacks and the rampage

Authornoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-23576837311107023262007-10-18T08:19:00.000-04:002007-10-18T09:20:13.605-04:00

Thank the Devil, I don't live in Saskatchewan! Sure they are the world's largest supplier of uranium so they have a soft spot in my heart. However when I'm pimping out my gremlin with chrome rims and vinyl graphics, I don't need anyone messing with my vanity plates.Seems a Mrs. Harris tried to get a vanity plate for her husband emblazoned with his adorable little pet name, "Diablo". "Not so fast"

Authornoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-84081196227982988572007-10-16T20:29:00.000-04:002007-10-16T20:44:09.654-04:00

These days it's not unusual to find that a priest has something dark in his closet. However when that dark thing is a leather jumpsuit with rhinestones, that IS enough to peak our interest (story here). Father Antonio Petrescu who lives in the tiny Italian town of Sorbo, sees no conflict of interest between the "King of Kings" and the "King of Rock and Roll" as they both spoke of love in general.

Authornoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-51339521055699955522007-10-08T16:17:00.001-04:002007-10-11T21:16:50.100-04:00

"Yutes" as Fred Gwynne called them in "My Cousin Vinny". Yutes are hard to reach. They can tell when you're talking down to them and when your motives aren't quite sincere. That plus the difficulty of nailing down the elusive quality that is "cool" make it hard to capture a young person's attention. This has led many a church to improvise creative BFG's for their evangelical arsenals. One such

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-17071968596825440162007-10-08T13:02:00.000-04:002007-10-08T16:16:44.304-04:00

Hitler knows how to ruin a party. There are many times when I'm attending mixers with all of the famous tormentors in hell and I'm having a good time...and then he shows up. Last week I was at Samael's Fall Fling drinking a Bloody Mary and chatting up a female demon about bird flu when I felt a tug at my elbow. It was Hitler, drinking a Shirley Temple, whining about his glory days and how he

Authornoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-39255825648915309462007-10-02T15:18:00.000-04:002007-10-02T21:05:24.421-04:00

GADS! Am I BORED! You'd think running Hell's online division would be a glamorous position, full of high-tech sinful fun. It isn't. Actually I have to put tech in quotation marks as due to a lack of funds we just have one computer lab filled with old gumdrop imacs. Not even pentiums, sheesh! Never the less, the tech really is just another tool to do the same old work. Rumors, conspiracy theories

Authornoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-12225310200203968492007-09-26T20:48:00.000-04:002007-09-26T21:07:24.012-04:00

Many actor's in Hollywood have done projects they are not proud of. Just ask Jennifer Aniston who starred in one of the "Leprechaun" sequels. Sometimes they need the money, other times they just don't know any better.Such it is with author's as well. When Stephen King wrote the 672 page "Insomnia", he didn't know that it would actually cure your insomnia. No movie offers were in the works so he

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-29939706096197277232007-09-23T10:40:00.000-04:002007-09-23T11:26:57.945-04:00

As I've said before, I don't know much about fashion. But I know what I like. Apparently the Spanish fashion retailer Zara has been selling handbags decorated with dainty, little symbols of the Third Reich (see story). Sadly, no, this does not mean that black, red, and brown are finally coming back into style. The symbols themselves predate Hitler's Funtime Boys, by centuries. Swastikas are

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-62073632469810449072007-09-20T20:52:00.000-04:002007-09-20T21:26:17.607-04:00

We earlier reported the efforts of one State Sen. Ernie Chambers to bring a lawsuit against God (see "But All of the Best Defense Lawyers Are in Hell"). This was his attempt to raise awareness concerning the filing of frivolous lawsuits in Nebraska. Well, we're not certain but apparently the ghost of Raymond Burr had a hand in making two court filings this week...on God's behalf! (see story).In

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-81731952083999039482007-09-20T14:06:00.000-04:002007-09-20T14:21:47.292-04:00

The Holy Mother has been a busy lady lately. First she "showed up" on a garage door in Minersville, PA and now she has a new canvas for her rather abstract style of manifestation. The Virgin Mary Lemon (sounds like a blues musician) was discovered in Wataua, Texas while a bartender was slicing lemons for his father's bar (story here). Marty Nance, saw the face earlier in the week but admits that

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-70919483934193895522007-09-19T18:36:00.000-04:002007-09-19T19:17:57.456-04:00

What do you like to do when you're bored? Currently my time is rather filled with my work here at AD and trying to paper train my pet Mongolian Death Worm, Toby. I don't HAVE much free time any more. But in the past I would while away the hours reading a book, taking a walk, or teasing a damned soul with a cup of water. I can't say I'd ever considered robbing a convenience store whilst, and at

Authornoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-76865659250762837932007-09-18T14:53:00.000-04:002007-09-18T15:36:55.453-04:00

Tired of frivolous lawsuits, one Nebraskan senator is filing a lawsuit against God. With this State Senator Ernie Chambers hopes to promote legislation to limit the filing of certain types of lawsuits which clog up the system (story here).This fellow truly has what we in hell like to call, "chutzpah". Ever since that one legal action the Jews pursued against "He Who Sits on the Right", we've

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-87648313306647808282007-09-13T14:25:00.000-04:002007-09-14T08:45:48.050-04:00

Consider your audience. That's what every good advertiser is told to do when pitching a deodorant, beer or new type of gum. Christians also find it beneficial, when trying to spread the Gospel, to relate to their hearer's interests and background. This is what one priest in Cardiff, UK is trying to do by having a Dr. Who theme night to attract the youth of his congregation (story here). The

Authornoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-67243585930537116642007-09-11T20:09:00.000-04:002007-09-11T21:22:32.420-04:00

I'm lonely. And in the most crowded realm of the afterlife, that is quite a trick. Every night after I drive home and walk up the five flights of stairs to my apartment, I dread opening the door. The room with it's single bed and one bathroom seems deathly cold and empty to me. So I've decided to get a pet. After long hours searching the internet I think I've finally settled on a likely candidate

Authornoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-29140725515371981732007-09-09T16:32:00.000-04:002007-09-10T08:50:44.504-04:00

To be sure I don't know who to be routing for in this one. In a dispute between God and lawyers, it's difficult for me to be on either side. But that is this case in this next story of copyright infringement. An evangelical publishing company was forced by lawyers representing two British comedy series to stop using their catchphrases on posters sold to outreach to youngsters (see story).The

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-15288469006353538962007-09-07T22:52:00.000-04:002007-09-07T22:56:21.352-04:00

I heard some discouraging news today. It seems that drinking a Guinness a day can lower the risk of heart attacks (see story). I'm just ticked because that means the bloody Irish are going to live forever! Sheesh more overtime!Brackish

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-15607814950413092702007-09-07T22:15:00.000-04:002007-09-08T17:25:29.701-04:00

It's usually gut wrenching to me when parents get involved with their children's interests. But this mom in Victorville, CA wisely ditched the Dr. Spock, and took a page from Ma Barker (story here).Apparently Sophia Elam was driving her son along with several adults to deal with a gang of boys who were bothering her son at school. Things really got out of hand though, when it was discovered that

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-21595542747398546582007-09-07T21:35:00.000-04:002007-09-07T22:12:31.768-04:00

It is said that behind every great man there is a woman. Well, in case of one corrupt Chinese official, behind him are ELEVEN very cheesed-off ones (story here). Sigh, a life-time of graft and corruption, ended by one mistress too many. Well, ten too many, but you have to admire his drive. Never got into collecting myself. It usually requires alot of dusting. Yuck.Graft and mistresses seem to go

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-85706824709205849112007-09-06T14:04:00.000-04:002007-09-06T22:30:45.312-04:00

Ask any parent of teenaged girls and they'll tell you, they can be terrors. But for two parents in Edgewater, Florida, their daughter became a horror movie! Back in June the police got a 911 call from the home of Debra and Daniel Rogers. It was from the couple's daughter, Christina. Apparently the other daughter, Danielle, had gone berserk after the couple's attempt at an exorcism using olive oil

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-88394699547785549782007-09-05T07:37:00.000-04:002007-09-05T08:10:08.732-04:00

I miss animal sacrifices, the pagentry, the color. It wasn't that long ago the Jews did it all the time. That was until Someone made such measures obsolete by sacrficing Himself. Without the work He did believers might STILL be sacrficing animals this very day. Imagine them rushing off to church, trying to fit the kids in the car along with two goats, a steer, and a cage of doves. It could be

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-19769544033355471252007-09-03T14:01:00.000-04:002007-09-03T14:33:39.909-04:00

"In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories."dun dunIt always makes for great drama when a person who is wrongly accused of a crime, finally has their name cleared by the legal system that condemned them. However when the

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-89472186439742628392007-09-02T16:06:00.000-04:002007-09-02T16:20:19.675-04:00

My uncle once said, "This life promises much, but keeps it all". That's very true, once you cross over you either inherit your riches in heaven or your poverty in hell. And you don't know just how threadbare things are unless you've worked here in A.D. I've got to bring in my own paper clips EVERY DAY! The best you can hope to do is make sure others benefit from the legacy you leave behind...or

Authornoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-83790473284668794362007-09-02T15:46:00.001-04:002007-09-02T16:01:04.839-04:00

Just wanted to offer kudos to two young men doing their part for the cause. They say a man's home is his castle. Well, the builder of this sand castle in Maine is probably mad enough to want to move in to keep watch (see story). The sculpture in question was built to raise money for a charity dealing with terminally ill children. Our two bright stars were video taped after midnight, kicking down

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-75509939107333301972007-08-31T13:29:00.000-04:002007-08-31T15:36:09.014-04:00

I stand proud as a fallen angel when I see human beings so confused and uncertain about their lives, that they mistake a ray of light for a ray of hope (see story). In Minersville, PA crowds of people have been drawn to a garage door that supposedly manifests the image of the mother of "He Who Sits on the Right".What kills me is that it is so obviously a reflection, and it's not even our best

Authornoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-531304004168933282007-08-30T14:18:00.000-04:002007-08-31T09:56:41.940-04:00

I've never been much of a fashion plate. I've worn, feathers, robes, the occasional hoodie but no one would be tempted to come up to me and ask, "Who are you wearing?" For one young girl in Indiana, however, that answer would be "God" (story here).This is my favorite type of controversy. It centers around children, education, and misguided zealotry. The problem stems from the fact that Highland

Authornoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-35788071964691218402007-08-29T12:45:00.000-04:002007-08-29T15:48:41.759-04:00

I like writing. It gives me a release and a way to express myself. Many times I've tried to get things published and I have high hopes of one day writing the Great Stygian Novel. However, despite my many experiments with the written word there is one form I have not yet explored. That would be writing on houses (story here).Ms. Estrella Benavides of San Mateo, CA has been fined over $5,000 for

Authornoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-66781387972662005842007-08-27T07:54:00.000-04:002007-08-27T08:58:55.015-04:00

As much as I love seeing churches filthy themselves with infighting, immoral pastors, and other petty sins, I couldn't help but put a positive (negative) spin on this story, Sadly the mud here is real mud and it was done as a sign of solidarity for a youth heading into the missions field. Shame.Gads I hate it when churches act like real people. It's better when they are convinced that the way to

Authornoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-21578228048825062902007-08-26T13:47:00.000-04:002007-08-26T14:12:47.807-04:00

Well, that's more like it. For the past two posts I have been complaining about the unsuccessful attempts of our eastern division to start a riot among Christians in Malaysia. Today I received more promising news from South-East Afghanistan. A demonstration was held by Muslims protesting an act of kindness (story here). Apparently the U.S. military wanted to present a gift of soccer balls to the

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-27409198820849397212007-08-25T12:34:00.000-04:002007-08-25T13:14:17.343-04:00

Well, it seems that while the Malaysian Christians could forgive, the Malaysian government could not. They went ahead and closed the Tamil-language paper, Makkal Osai, for publishing that picture of "HWSR" smoking and drinking (story here). The other huge irony is that the caption that accompanied the picture was, "if someone repents for his mistakes, then heaven awaits him".I'm still quite upset

Authornoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-13602001407493875302007-08-23T18:38:00.000-04:002007-08-23T21:04:16.386-04:00

Well I have to give our over-seas division credit for trying, but sadly the Christians of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia are too hard to incite to riot. On Tuesday the Tamil-language newspaper, Makkal Osai, mistakenly printed a picture of "The One Who Sits on the Right" smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer for a cover story they were running (story here). Christian groups were angered, but most

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-37717028177984730772007-08-21T19:48:00.000-04:002007-08-21T20:05:53.322-04:00

Ah the days of one's youth. Remember those carefree days when it was raining outside and you had nothing to do? You and your siblings would go to the closet to pull down a game from the top shelf and while away the hours...bombing the crap out of England! Well now you can relive those memories this Thursday if you have at least $600. Mullock's auctioneers in Ludlow, Shropshire, UK is auctioning

Authornoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-1375138076950649322007-08-20T18:33:00.000-04:002007-08-20T18:55:53.059-04:00

As much as we demons consider priests to be a bunch of clowns, we never expected that they would actually start dressing like them! This story in the Catholic Herald relates the tale of Father Greg "Stripes" Serwa and his life as a priest and a clown for over 30 years.We hate it when priests use humor in their ministry, because it makes them seem more approachable and (yuck!) human. But seriously

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-89093766894749795252007-08-19T13:40:00.000-04:002007-08-19T13:58:36.796-04:00

Apparently for one church in California, the promise of treasures in heaven isn't good enough to get people to fill their pews. They feel they must resort to giving out gift cards as well. The Palm Beach Post.com reports in this story that for the next three Sundays, the Church by the Glades in Coral Springs will be handing out $15 iTunes gift cards along with a chance to win an iPhone.Funny I

Authornoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-32058966837531225452007-08-18T12:56:00.000-04:002007-08-19T13:22:06.438-04:00

A church in West Virginia has come up with an unconventional way of attracting new parishioners. They are advertising in the name of "Our Father Down Below". Their billboard, seen in this article, reads: "I hate the New Life Center in Cedar Grove! - Satan", and they provide a website address. Well, well, well, so posing as a devil to do an angel's work. Where have I heard that one before?The

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-14650375434233620902007-08-17T08:17:00.000-04:002007-08-18T13:37:05.512-04:00

Well, it's Friday and we at AD can't wait for the end of the day. Because tonight is movie night! Now our tastes in movies might seem by some to be questionable and by others to be quite dreadful. This is because we absolutely adore movies that degrade the art form, that lower the bar, and were made solely for profit.No this does NOT refer to horror movies. Many people think we love attending

Authornoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-2404869103419330022007-08-16T20:45:00.000-04:002007-08-18T13:37:52.193-04:00

There were actually two things that angered us, when He created humans. One was, of course, the fact that they received free will, but the other was their ability to reason. It was those two things that placed them above the animals and the angels. It is what made them children. So it is that we relish any instance in which humans forgo the use of either ability and again show themselves to be

Authornoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-8222291681405622522007-08-15T21:58:00.000-04:002007-08-18T13:38:25.935-04:00

We'd like to salute a promising young lad from Hastings, MI who has great future ahead of him. He stole a neighbor's car and and went on a rampage. Not bad for only being eight years old. We wish him a speedy recovery and encourage his parents to continue to ignore any parenting advice they might be given after this incident. Hopefully with direction (or lack there of) he can graduate beyond

Authornoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-56945284138531242972007-08-12T08:19:00.000-04:002007-08-18T13:39:24.983-04:00

Today I want to celebrate one of the little things, which makes life intolerable. That, of course, is the experience of driving. Many of my readers might be surprised to find that the "children of below" actually know how to drive. Ah, but my friends driving is one of our greatest pleasures. It gives the human race such an emense opportunity for sin. How could we not participate?Whether they are

Authornoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9056540858970902428.post-90738736622982003132007-08-11T22:30:00.000-04:002007-08-11T22:39:29.961-04:00

Welcome to the first entry in an epic experiment. This blog was set aside by our Father Down Below to praise those people who in one way or another work to make this world a worse place in which to live. Our sole purpose is recognize people, businesses, or governments who do the wrong thing at exactly the right time. From every little annoyance to every heinous crime, none will escape our

Authornoreply@blogger.com0